I Never Dreamed This Far

Boz and I made our FEI Prix St. Georges debut and earned our USDF Silver Medal this weekend, with a 63.6% and a 65%! I’m so proud of how everything went. Boz was an absolute superstar, even with a massive cold front that blew through on Sunday morning, three hours before I rode. He never ceases to amaze me. 

There are so many people that have invested time into our journey, and I can’t thank everyone enough. It’s one thing for me to believe in my little spicy wonder nugget, but to have so many people believe in us and continue to support us is insane. A couple shows ago I heard the comment, “Wait, you’re the ‘Red Wonder Horse’ person, right?” and I honestly didn’t know how to feel. To think that our story has spread so far beyond my tiny bubble of friends is crazy, and beyond anything I ever imagined. 

There are countless people to thank. For my successes, Boz’s, and our accomplishments together. But of course, I feel the need to give some special shout-outs.

First, to my incredible family. They have supported me unwaveringly from the time I was doing Intro A (and poorly!) at schooling shows, to now, riding down FEI centerlines. They have supported me and driven me through the ups and downs of this sport, and taught me valuable life lessons along the way. I must give special thanks to my mom, who has dedicated so much time to not only helping me but also putting in so much time and effort to supporting our local Dressage community. Whether it be managing shows, her time coordinating the Region 9 Jrs/Yrs, or organizing clinics, that Wonder Woman can do anything. And on top of it all, she’s never missed a tack-up, warm-up, and most definitely not a ride. My family is my rock, and I couldn’t do anything without them.

Second, to my amazing and incredibly talented coach, Mr. Nick Handy (who is now a Gold Medalist!!!!). Boz and I would be completely lost without you. Thanks for always holding us accountable and pushing us to be our best, even through our occasional mental breakdowns! I think it’s been said before how awesome your coaching is. Not only are you a fantastic teacher but you are also a great motivator. We feel so so lucky to be able to work with you and the Handy Dressage family!

Third, to the Magical Mrs. Katja Auer, who saw something in Boz and I back when we were doing wobbly leg yields at our second show. It is through your incredibly talented hard work and help that Boz is able to perform the way he does. Thank you for helping us keep him as comfortable and relaxed as possible through a sport where it can become stressful both mentally and physically for these beautiful animals. It gives us peace of mind to have such a wonderful support system for Boz, and you were there from the beginning. Thank you for not only being an integral part of Boz’s team, but also for being a wonderful friend, showing up to clinics and shows to watch us go. We absolutely love you! 

I also must give plenty of credit to #WonderVet Dr. Grose, who is another key player in Boz’s little (big) team. Thank you for always responding to our sometimes ridiculous texts about, “Is this cut okay?” and of the like. Apparently we have a tendency to overreact when it comes to Boz (I don’t know where anyone got that idea!), and you’re always the calm to our crazy. Thank you thank you!

Last but most definitely not least, I have to thank Boz. 

On January 23, 2018, at around five o’clock in the evening, I swung my leg over his saddle for the first time. After a ride filled with not-walking, breaking at the canter after only half a circle, and the choppiest trot and chompiest mouth you’ve ever seen, I had no idea the journey that was kickstarted from that day. 

I had no idea that a year later, on January 19, 2019, at around one o’clock in the afternoon, that I would be swinging my leg over his saddle for our Third Level debut. Getting flying change after flying change in the warmup after months of wondering if he’d ever get a flying change. 

And then a year after that. January 18, 2020, arriving at the barn at 5:30 in the morning to start braiding for our 8:16 ride time, where we would debut at FEI Prix St. Georges.

This weekend was extra special for me for multiple reasons. Riding a Prix St. Georges test was something (and I’m not kidding) I didn’t dream of as a kid. Riding FEI and earning a Silver Medal was something for better riders, or people with nicer horses. I never dreamed of it because it seemed so insanely far outside of what I thought I’d ever be capable of doing. 

10 y/o me with my first
Dressage horse, DJ 

You see, when I was ten, I thought I had my Dressage career figured out. I’ve always been a realist, so my goals were to keep trying until I reached that mystical First Level mark. Third Level was the "lifetime goal" I had as a kid, and anything beyond a single flying change was completely out of the realm of possibilities for me. Even then, I figured I would have to wait until I was an adult and could afford a well-trained horse that could do those things. I didn't want to daydream about FEI because I was afraid to one day end up disappointed because I didn't have what it takes. To think that I just finished out a weekend at FEI on a horse I trained completely by myself is… surreal. 

We’re schooling the Intermediate Level work at home. Piaffe/Passage prep has been a part of daily work for months, and we got our first one-tempis last week. Sometimes I feel like I’m living in some kind of dream world, or someone is playing a trick on me and I’m so scared to wake up. 

Not a single part of this has been easy, I don’t want anyone to get that idea, but it’s been so real. To me, this has been such an honest journey. No cheats, no shortcuts, just Boz and I, trying our hardest. 

What people see now is a finished product, if you can even call it that. We’re still learning. Growing. Adapting. Each day is a new day to help me learn him, and him me. That’s what I love about this sport, the joy of constant growing and learning.

But there was a time where it wasn’t always joyful. A time where most days involved tears and frustration. Times where Boz would get insanely tense and stiff at clinics or shows, which involved people whispering, “That horse looks off,” believing I couldn’t hear them or trying painfully to make sure I did, having no idea the situation or his story.

Boz and I continued to learn despite those problems. Despite the odds stacked against us. He’s come so far in his relaxation, where walking is no longer a problem and tightness only pops up on the especially bad days. The absence of old problems has made room for new ones, but we take them all in stride and learn to conquer them too. I’m so insanely proud of how our journey has progressed because we’ve gone through all of this together as a team. 

As I said earlier, I feel like I’m in some sort of dream-state. To tell the truth, I don’t know quite how to react to all that’s happened. I never dreamed this far. All I know throughout this whole process is that when I’m on Boz, things seem a little less impossible. The world seems a little less scary and life becomes way less complicated.

I wish I could go back in time just to tell little-me how great things would turn out. To tell her that watching those around her fly up the levels was disheartening, but that it would soon turn into a strong determination. 

So here’s a message to her, and to anyone else who might need to hear it.

Sometimes plans change, and most of the time, that’s okay. Sometimes this sport hurts and sometimes it’s hard, and sometimes you just want to quit. But quitting is never the answer, and you’re much too strong for that. Somedays going to the barn might make you more stressed, or horse shows will be a little less fun because your four-legged dance partner just decides they’re not having a great day. Or maybe the judge simply isn’t having a good day!

But all of that is okay. All of that is and will be okay. It's okay to let yourself be hopeful and it's okay to dream for bigger and greater things ahead.

You just have to work a little harder. Pray a little longer.

And dream a little further. 








Some extra thank-yous:
Pati and Hannah Pierucci, for being the second family I never knew I needed.
Jeremy Steinberg, for being there from the beginning and always having the sharpest eye and best advice to help Boz and I improve.
Alamo Dressage Association, for all of the fantastic educational and showing opportunities.
And all of you, #TeamRedWonder, for keeping up with us.